My Journey

I hail from Chettunnapadu, it’s a village that’s situated next to the Kolleru lake and situated in the West Godavari District of Andhra Pradesh. I spent a great part of my childhood there and most of my experiences there remain fresh in my memory as if it were yesterday. Apart from giving me memories to cherish for a life time, my time there has also taught me to never forget my roots and the stark differences that are steeped so deep in the society and of course some words of wisdom through anecdotes and bible stories from my paternal grandparents which have gone a long way in shaping me as a person. No matter how many times I return to this place its beauty never ceases to enthrall me and I guess it is the feeling of home that always keeps me connected to this place no matter where I go.

I have studied in nine different schools thanks to my father’s job which uprooted our family each time he got a posting in a new place, on one hand it was hard to keep adjusting to a new place each time but it also provided me an opportunity to meet a lot of people in the process and travel to different places. Eventually I stopped School hopping and went to boarding school at Bishop Cotton Girls School in Bengaluru (then Bangalore). I finished my Secondary and Higher Secondary School here. To be honest it was a big cultural shock for me to move here and it took me a while to adjust to the new surroundings and people and the exposure I got here was completely different from what I had seen before. I was subjected to bullying and ostracization at various periods of time through this period but, going to the chapel every day and pouring my heart out helped me cope with it and provided me with some sort of catharsis. It was here that I developed the skills of listening and empathy, especially when I was elected to be the Chapel Prefect, I learned to look out for everyone especially the ones who felt home sick or left out, perhaps because I understood what it felt like to be in that place. It was the time that also brought me closer to God. It was also the first time I undertook a career counselling test and one of the first options of the result was to be psychologist and thus began my journey to become one.

While it is true that I discovered my love for the English language and Literature in School, I discovered my love for Psychology in College in Mount Carmel College. Like most of my peers at that time there was a conflict on whether to continue in science and pursue Medicine as a career, and if not, that may be something in the applied sciences like Biotechnology as it was all the rage back then or to make a complete shift to Social Sciences. However much to the dismay of a lot of people around me other than my parents and grandparents I opted Humanities and Social Sciences and pursued a Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology, English Literature and Economics. Pop culture feeds us these romanticized images of college about how it is supposed to be this wonderful time in life and so on, while I did have my share of fun, it also was a tumultuous time for me. I tried to excel in my studies like any ambitious person would do, I became the prefect for the hostel and this role helped me to reach out to those in distress whether it was taking students who were ill to the hospital or just listening to people vent about the issues they were facing. During the span of this course, I also took a certificate course in Counselling skills, which helped me enrich my education in Psychology. 

I went on to do my Masters of Science in Applied Psychology in Pondicherry University, which is a Central University. Pondicherry always held a certain fascination for me and sure did turn out to be a special place for me both academically and personally. I have spent some of the most memorable moments of my life here. It was this safe space which allowed me to grow, to speak in the language of Attachment Styles, it was both a safe haven and a secure base which helped me to feel grounded and feel free to explore and discover myself. I enjoyed to the beautiful campus, the lovely quaint little town of Pondicherry and my academics in equal measure. The curriculum was quite interesting and it gave me drive to pursue it with more vigor. I specialized in Clinical Psychology and did my internship at SCARF (Schizophrenia Research Foundation) and later at the Family Court in the High court of Madras. These two internships really helped me evaluate where my strengths lie and felt that I preferred to pursue Counselling to Clinical Psychology. The Internship at the Family Court also piqued my interest in Interpersonal Relationships, particularly intimate relationships and laid the foundation for my research further in my PhD.

I cleared the UGC NET Examination and qualified for JRF (Junior Research Fellow), and I returned to my alma mater, Pondicherry University, to pursue my PhD. Like every scholar pursuing their PhD I too had my share of roadblocks in terms of arriving at a topic for research, but I eventually stumbled upon it with almost an ‘aha’ moment of my own and narrowed it to studying ‘Attachment Styles and Unwanted Consensual Sex in the context of Psychological Abuse, Sexual Motivation, Coercion’. Apart from my research, I also taught the PG students for one year and later qualified as an Assistant Professor at RGNIYD (Rajiv Gandhi National Institute of Youth Development), Sriperumbudur and taught briefly there and returned to PU to continue my research.  My second stint at PU was quite different from the first one, it opened up so many more avenues to be part of socio-political movements that were at their peak on campus at that time. I was part of organizations like Ambedkar Students Association which advocated for anti-caste politics and Spectra which is an organization for the LGBTQIA++ community on campus. The amalgamation of research, teaching and politics was truly an enriching experience. It was also a time I learnt to live completely on my own, I lived near a place called Serenity beach and I think it’s where I found my Serenity.